


The Lost Avatar

by mattthedungeonbat



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Child Abuse, Everybody's Fucked Up, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Trauma, Violence, War, aang finally gets someone to look after him thank god, agender characters, buckets of teenage angst, neurodivergent characters, roku is a little bit of a rebel, sokka is a good big brother, that feel when you're old as shit but only technically lived for fifteen years and it shows, yes its another self instert dont @ me, zuko and the lost avatar have an emo-off
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattthedungeonbat/pseuds/mattthedungeonbat
Summary: 600 years ago, an Earth Kingdom Avatar felt they could not do their duty. Rather than leave the world defenseless, they chose to kill themself and allow the Avatar cycle to continue. Now, with a twelve year old boy about to face the horrors of war, the Lost Avatar can no longer stand by; taking the energy from Aang's breakdown at the Southern Air Temple, they become corporeal once more and take over in his stead.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 28





	1. Prologue

Water. Earth. Fire. Air.

It has been more than six hundred years since I was born. An Earth Kingdom Avatar, unknowing of my position until it was too late. A war, not so different from the one which now threatens to succeed, was brewing in my country. I was fifteen. I knew I could not stop it.

No one knew I was the Avatar; not my parents, not the monks. The Earth Kingdom had been searched again and again, looking for the new Avatar, but after five years they gave up. I only discovered my powers when I was eleven. At first, I was elated, but reality set in quickly. I knew that my world was in danger, and I knew that I was expected to stop it. And I knew, without a single doubt, that I could not. I was only a child, without status or knowledge, failing school and abused by my family. I knew I couldn’t save the world. At first, I tried to train in secret, hoping to unlock some hidden potential, but as I got older it became clearer that no such potential existed. And so, knowing that only the Avatar could save the world, and knowing that I could not, I only saw one choice left.

I killed myself.

I became known as the Lost Avatar, a skipped earthbender in the cycle. Most people assumed I had never existed; some rightly deduced that I had died young. And yet, I was an Avatar, a single spirit like a finger on the hand of a much greater whole. When I killed myself, I was not welcomed to the spirit world with open arms. The other Avatars condemned me; I had failed in our sacred duty. I was not one of them.

So I left. I stayed in the human world, haunting and watching, quietly cheering on the new Avatars as one by one they righted the wrongs I could not have prevented myself. Though I was always drawn to them in their Avatar state, I never showed myself to them and the others never acknowledged my existence. For centuries, it seemed that I had made the right choice to continue the Avatar cycle rather than trying pridefully to change the world myself. For centuries, I was relieved in the knowledge that I had done the right thing.

Then, Avatar Roku died, Aang disappeared, and the Fire Nation declared war upon the world.

I watched as one by one nations fell to crimson flame. I knew I could not awaken Aang before his iceberg surfaced, or he would drown or freeze in the arctic ocean. And yet, as ancient a spirit as I was, I did not have enough strength to stop the war myself. After so many centuries, finally I felt it was my time again to save the world and yet I was completely powerless to do anything but watch.

I was relieved when the young waterbender Katara pulled Aang from the ocean. Even if I could not do anything, perhaps he could. Yet I watched in pain as the young child who was the Avatar stumbled back into the world. He was too young. He shouldn’t have had to do this. I had already lived and died; I had already suffered. I should have been the one to take this burden from him so that, at least for a little while, he could remain a child. But I couldn’t. There wasn’t enough energy to siphon into myself to be able to make any change in the world.

There wasn’t, that is, until Aang arrived at the Air Temple.

And as I watched him stumble upon his old teacher, heart breaking, I felt the fluttering in my soul as the strongest Avatar state Aang had ever triggered spun into being. In a flash of inspiration, I knew it would be enough energy-- just enough-- for me to regain a mostly corporeal form. And so, drawn to him like moth to flame, I reached into the nimbus of energy surrounding that distraught little boy and I pulled, and I pulled, and I pulled. The wind died, Katara and Sokka safe from the hailstorm of dangerous debris. Aang fell to the ground, exhausted and weeping weakly as I ended his Avatar state by force. With the last of my control, I followed the pull into the Air Temple Sanctuary, to the empty pedestal where my statue should have been. The last thing I perceived was a flash of pale blue light before everything went dark.


	2. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avatar Matahari awakens

“Oh my gosh, Aang! What’s that?”

The Water Tribe girl’s voice filters into my subconscious. What was her name? I chase after the tatters of memory in my mind. Ka… something. My memories are barely present, like seeing glimpses of a scene through water. Takara? No, that’s not it. A memory flash of deep blue… the impression of ice… Ka-- Katara? That seems right. Aang I know straight away-- the little airbender. Something slams in my chest-- the little Avatar.

My chest. In my-- in my chest? I haven’t had a chest for anything to slam in in… centuries. I have a body! A body that’s subject to gravity! Am I standing? Where am I? _What_ am I? A wash of cool air buffets my face.

“ _Woah_.” Aang’s voice, right in front of me. I open my eyes.

There he is, standing on the ledge right in front of me, all of twelve years old and fresh of face. I reel at the strange perspective of seeing only from my two eyes and not from everywhere at once. Suddenly, I need light to see- I hadn’t noticed how dark the Sanctuary was until just now. Wonder fills me as I perceive the deeply blue shadows. How strange-- have colors always been this vibrant?

Aang is peering at me, grey eyes wide, and I find myself…. Frowning, I think, back. I haven’t had a face to make expressions with in a very long time, and I hadn’t been very good at making expressions even in my first life. Somehow, Aang’s eyes get wider and his mouth falls open.

“Are you an Avatar?”

I continue frowning at him, blinking as I try to remember how to speak. I seem to be breathing without conscious thought, which is good, but in spirit form I had never needed to physically move my mouth to speak. I hadn’t _had_ a physical mouth. Unsurprisingly, one can fall out of practice with _anything_ over a span of several hundred years.

“Guys!” Aang yells back down to the ground, where the two Water Tribe children stand. “I think it’s an Avatar!”

“What do you mean it’s an Avatar?” The boy yells back, waving his arms. “ _You’re_ the Avatar!”

Aang turns back to me, staring raptly. “Are you okay?”

I blink one more time, and carefully open my mouth to speak. “I…. am not sure.”

“You’re an Avatar, right?”

“Yes,” I intone slowly.

“But why are you here? I mean, _are_ you here?” He reaches out a hand to poke me and I find that without conscious thought, my body twists swiftly away from his touch.

“Oh!” Aang says, quickly retracting his hand. “Sorry.”

“I believe,” I say, looking around and flexing my hands as I get used to having them again, “That I’m more or less ‘here’. I don’t know if ‘alive’ would be a good term for this.”

“Wow,” Aang whispers, mostly to himself. “So, but, why are you here, anyways?”

I pause, and turn narrow eyes to the boy before me. “Because you are far too young to be facing the fate of the world by yourself. I had an opportunity to do my duty as an Avatar, so I’m doing it. I am relieving you until such a time as you can take over your Avatar duties properly. Until then, I will handle this war myself.”

The humor is gone from his expression, a subtle shift from the curious face previous. “I didn’t think that was allowed.”

I scoff quietly. “It’s not.”

He looks at me calmly, and a tension I hadn’t noticed in his shoulders relaxes. For just one moment he is completely serious, and offers me a solemn nod. “Thank you,” He says quietly.

Then, in a burst of air, he turns and jumps off the ledge, floating down to his friends, chattering cheerfully. Katara sends a dubious squint up at me as she listens to Aang.

I take a deep breath, consciously feeling my energy around me. I’m not a physical form, more a huge amount of energy pressed tightly into one shape until it can interact with the world. When I practice my bending, I feel the edges of my form soften a little, blending and bleeding as I send some of my energy into the thick coating of dust beneath my feet. The dust raises up, applying pressure under my slightly blurry feet, lifting me up and drifting me down to the ground floor. Now the boy is looking at me fearfully too, one hand gripping his boomerang. I search my memories like chasing butterflies in my mind, trying to grasp the images on their paper wings as they flutter past-- Sokka. That’s his name.

“But, wait,” Katara says, looking from Aang to me. “We were going to go to the North Pole to learn waterbending.”

“We still can!” Aang explains brightly. “But now-- We can do it whenever we want! We don’t have a time limit anymore, Katara, since the other Avatar is taking over for me for the war! We can go koi riding!”

“Aang,” Says Sokka, looking at me nervously. “Let’s think about this some more, buddy. I mean--” He lowers his voice. “--Are you _sure_ it’s an Avatar?”

“Yeah, it’s Avatar Matahari,” Aang says with certainty. “Although…” He turns back to look at me. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an Avatar Matahari before.”

I shake my head. “You wouldn’t have. No one ever knew my name. Most people call me the Lost Avatar.”

Aang pauses and stares, and I can see in his eyes when he realizes that whatever I may look like now, I would have had to die not much older than him. Idly, I wonder what I look like as he turns back to his companions.

“It’s okay guys. Trust me, alright? I can just tell.”

“Mmmyeah,” Sokka says doubtfully, before rounding on me. “So how are you gonna end this war, then, _oh great Avatar?_ ”

I frown at him, but I haven’t got a fucking clue. “How were _you_ going to?”

Sokka opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, and splutters. I nod.

“My point exactly. You’re all too young to be worrying about this. Go ride your elephant koi, or go to the North Pole. Have fun.”

“Too young!” Sokka cries, but I ignore him and walk past them out of the Sanctuary.

“ _Wait_!” Sokka snaps, bustling after me. I can hear his sister and Aang rushing to keep up. “So Aang knows who the Lost Avatar is-- _We_ don’t! How do we know you’re not some random crazy spirit who just _says_ it’s an Avatar?”

I cast him a sideways glance. “Because Aang can sense me as a part of himself. But as for who I am-- I was an Earth Kingdom Avatar some six hundred or so years ago. I died when I was fifteen, before the monks could find me, so I was titled ‘lost.’ Many people assumed I had either been skipped, or had died young.”

“ _Before_ the monks found you? So that means you were never trained, either! How are you any better than Aang?”

“It’s not about me being ‘better,’” I snap, glancing around the courtyard. “It’s about me having observed life for six hundred and sixty seven years, and Aang only having done so for twelve. I have seen and experienced horrible things-- Things no child should ever have to go through. If I can spare you all from that, I will.”

That shuts him up a little, and he stops walking as I approach the bannister and look out over the remains of the Air Temple.

The temple spills away before me, constructed on the craggy peaks of the mountains. Possible to traverse by foot, but more practical by flying. However, I know the height of these mountaintops; it may technically be possible to fly from the peak to the foot under my own power, but it could hardly be called safe or easy. And unlike Aang, I don’t have a flying animal guide-- I never met my animal guide at all in my first life. It suddenly strikes me that, whatever it was, it probably died. That’s depressing. Vaguely I can hear Sokka muttering to Aang and Katara.

“...And what about Zuko? He’s not just gonna stop following us because some ancient spirit has decided to take over as Avatar. If anything he’ll want you both.”

Hmm. I can’t remember much of the young Prince other than his good fighting form when he had attacked the South Pole. But if he’s pursuing Aang… I glance back at the kids. Katara is frowning worriedly, and Aang looks a little crestfallen. They won’t be safe on their own-- Whether I’m there or not, the Fire Nation will still be after them. Damn it.

“Aang,” I call softly, and beckon him over with a jerk of my head when he looks up.

“Yes, Avatar?” He asks respectfully as he joins me on the balcony.

“Would Zuko divert his attention to me, if I made it clear that I would be the one threatening the Firelord’s regime?”

He sighs, and shakes his head. “I don’t think so. He’s-- I don’t know what his deal is, but he’s dead set on capturing the Avatar. Sort of seems like he’d be even happier to capture two of us.”

“He won’t leave you alone, will he?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

I sigh, looking out at the view. Aang shuffles his feet timidly.

“”Um, Avatar Matahari… Could I stay with you? I-I mean, I know it wouldn’t really be safe, but…”

“You wouldn’t be safe on your own, either,” I finish, before looking at him searchingly. “I won’t say no, Aang, but you have to realize what I’m going to do won’t be fun, either. It’ll be a lot more work than play, and…”

“I know,” Aang assures me. “But I… I want to. I never got a chance to learn how to be an Avatar, and now I can. And, maybe sometimes you’ll have to go fun places, right? I’m _sure_ there’s some fun places that could use an Avatar’s help!”

I can’t help but chuckle a little at his enthusiasm. “If you say so.”

“Yes!” Aang cries, floating a foot off the ground as he punches the air. “Oh-- but what about my friends?”

“They can come too,” I say, trying not to look too amused. “Or we could drop them off at the North Pole.”

“Actually,” Katara interrupts, and I turn to see her wringing her hands nervously. “I’d like to train under you too. Even if we do part ways at the North Pole…” She looks at Aang with big, pleading eyes. She doesn’t want to leave him. “Well, if you’ll have us, Avatar, I’d like to come too.”

She offers me a bow, and Aang quickly follows suit. I nod, but glance past her to Sokka.

“I’ll go where she goes,” Sokka says simply, giving a one-shouldered shrug. “If you’ll have us.”

“I will,” I tell them.


	3. Kyoshi Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matahari meets Zuko for the first time

“How were you going to get down from here?” Aang asks as we load up the bison’s saddle.

I shrug, tossing a bundle up to Sokka and eyeing the black sleeves of my outfit. Why black? “I was going to ride the clouds.”

“What?” Katara cries. “How?”

I shrug again, glancing around to make sure we hadn’t missed anything. “Clouds are made of water. All you have to do is maintain the surface tension of the droplets and then you can ride on them.”

“Huh,” Sokka says, while Katara and Aang stare in incomprehension. 

I call the dust to lift myself up into the saddle, trying not to look as awkward as I feel. “I’ll have plenty of time to show you as we fly.”

Aang floats up to the bison’s head on a swirl of wind. “So… Where are we headed?”

I sigh. Technically speaking, if we got into the Fire Nation, I _could_ just kill Ozai and be done with it. But that wouldn’t so much end the war as just get rid of the biggest threat, and besides that, Avatars aren’t technically supposed to kill. We’re diplomats and peacekeepers, negotiators. Our job is to protect, unite, and inspire. So, however much more work it will be, we’ll have to fly across the world and kick everyone’s butts into gear…. And we’ll have to do it nicely.

“Sokka,” I say, trying not to sound too tired, “How are the Southern Water Tribe’s defenses?”

“You’re lookin’ at ‘em.” Sokka says, with a guilty shrug. “The tribe is just women, children, and elderly with me and Katara gone.”

“Hmm. The Prince will be following us, so we can’t go back to at least fortify their walls. We’ll need to ask a delegation from the North Pole to sail down to protect them. Let’s head for the nearest Earth Kingdom town and see what news they have of the local state of affairs; I believe the island Kyoshi lived on is near here. With the elephant koi, Aang.”

Aang bounces excitedly and flicks the bison’s reins. “Yeah! Yip yip!”

We lift off from the Southern Air Temple and begin the slow descent to a more suitable elevation. I glance down at my crossed legs, noting with interest that I appear to be wearing a sarong tied into loose trousers, the fabric plain cotton, dyed with black-on-black floral patterns only really visible in direct sunlight. As far as I can tell, all of my clothing is black; black linen shirt, tight black undershirt and leggings, black shoes with thin soles, and some sort of flowing cloak made of fine black linen. Not that I necessarily disapprove, but it’s strange. I had never worn much black when I had been alive, and in my family we had worn white to funerals so it isn’t an indication of my… undead? Do I count as undead? --Status. Then again, I have no idea how this ‘becoming-corporeal’ business works. Maybe I’d just manifested the clothes I had subconsciously felt looked coolest.

“Try and stay above cloud cover, please, Aang,” I call once we’re down the mountain. 

Katara sits in front of me, visibly trying not to look too eager. “Um, Avatar Matahari? How do you bend clouds?”

“How do _I_ bend clouds or how can _you_ bend clouds?” I ask her wryly. I reach out my right hand, sending my energy into a nearby cloud, catching a wisp of suspended droplets and pulling it to wreath my hand. It’s pleasantly cool, fluffy and white, and Katara stares with her mouth hanging open. I chuckle, examining the cloud serenely.

“For most waterbenders, I’m sure this would be considered an advanced technique. Controlling so many individual droplets like this isn’t something a lot of people ever learn how to do.” I pause for a moment, a cold emotion like guilt flooding through me. “I have to warn you, Katara. I can’t teach you the traditional waterbending forms. I may have seen them plenty as a spirit, but I never got to practice them and traditional bending is not my forte.”

I glance at her out of the corner of my eye, face still turned to the cloud I’m controlling, but Katara is nodding. She looks a little disappointed, but resigned. 

“That’s okay. Um, what _can_ you teach me?”

I heave a sigh, watching as I make the cloud swirl and dance. “The basics. More basic than the basics, maybe-- I don’t know if many people ever learn the nuances of masterful bending. It’s not just about doing the physical moves; in order to bend, you need to let the element be a part of you.”

Katara frowns. “Hmm. I always have a lot of trouble bending. The water doesn’t seem to want to do what I want it to.”

“Hold out your hand,” I instruct her.

When she offers her hand, I take it and gently turn it palm up, moving my cloud-wreathed hand over it. 

“Do what you would normally do when controlling water; call the cloud into a ball above your hand.”

Katara nods sharply, brow still knit as she focuses on my little wisp of cloud. I feel the droplets begin to waver, but more importantly than that I can feel that Katara’s energy is radiating out all over the place from her hand. I watch as the cloud condenses a little, wobbles, then combines into a small ball of water that shakes and jiggles in the air as Katara slowly manages to refine her hold on it.

“Hmm,” I say quietly. 

Just that little noise is enough to break Katara’s attention; as she looks up at me, the ball of water collapses and begins to fall. I wave my wrist over it, dispersing it into mist again as I release Katara’s hand.

“Damn it,” Katara mutters.

“It’s alright,” I tell her. “Everyone struggles at first.”

She puts her hands on her head in frustration. “What am I doing wrong?”

“You’re not flowing with it, Katara. You’re thinking of the water as a separate entity to be fought with and controlled, and that’s not the case at all.” I settle a little more comfortably, leaning towards her. “The human body is made up almost entirely of water. Water is _literally_ in your blood, Katara, and I don’t just mean because of your tribe. _You_ are made of water-- water is in the food you eat, it fuels your body and replenishes you when you drink it. It’s not something outside of you and it’s certainly not an opponent; it has been and always will be a part of you physically.”

She doesn’t look to be fully comprehending what I’m saying, so I push on.

“When you bend, it’s not about taking something outside of you and separate from you and moving it. There is water inside you already, flowing already-- feel that flow, _take_ that flow, and extend it out into the water before you. The water you bend is an extension of the essence of who you are, the purest essence of life. When you raise your wrist, the water becomes your wrist and raises also. Does that make any sense at all?”

She’s still frowning, but now it’s more of concentration than it is of confusion. I reach out both my arms and in a cool rush of breeze, bend larger swaths of clouds into the saddle to hover over us.

“When you raise your wrist,” I tell Katara, watching as she looks up at the clouds with focus across her face, “The water _becomes_ your wrist and raises also.”

Slowly, she extends one hand, staring intensely at the clouds. With a movement so powerfully natural it almost looks unnatural, she raises her wrist, and out of the clouds condense snake of water that raises in time. Shock spreads across her face, threatening to break her concentration, and I lunge forward, holding onto her arm. 

“Focus! You are the water, the water is you. When you move your arm, the water moves too.” I loosen my grasp. “Move your arm.”

Elegantly, her arm drifts out to the side, and the snake of water flows after it. I can feel Katara’s excitement in my own chest, but a determined fire brightens her face. She raises her arm up and then lets it drift down before her, and the water flows up and down too, forming a perfectly balanced sphere between us.

“Good,” I tell her quietly. 

After that, I don’t have to do much at all. Katara sits in the saddle and moves her arm about like she’s in a trance, her gaze fixed unwaveringly on the water she’s bending. It’s a promising start, and it certainly speaks to her power. I can feel her energy billowing and eddying in the air around her, and unlike the first time I had felt her bend this time it feels as if she is a part of the flow. Sokka glances back at her, something like annoyance flicking across his brow, but he doesn’t interrupt. I wonder if he’s jealous of her.

With a glance back to ensure Katara is okay, I crawl to the front of the saddle carefully. “Aang.”

“Yeah?” He says, looking back at me. 

I jerk my head toward Katara. “Look.”

Aang sets down the reins and jumps up to the saddle.

“ _Wow,”_ he says, watching Katara bend with open awe. “When can _I_ do that?”

I laugh. “Is the bison alright on it’s own?”

“Appa’s fine, he knows where to go,” Aang says, bouncing excitedly.

I smirk and wave him over to take a seat.

* * *

By the time we reach Kyoshi Island, both Aang and Katara are able to bend water. Where Katara needed help finding her flow, Aang already seems to have found it. _His_ problem stems from the fact that it’s the flow of air. When I give him a cloud he can move it as individual drops with the tremulous caution of a new bender, but it isn’t what could be considered real waterbending. It takes him a lot longer to get the greater density of water into his head, but eventually he’s haltingly controlling thin streams of water as well. Finding the flow is either the most basic or the most advanced technique, depending on who you ask, but in my opinion it’s a start. With this down, when they start learning traditional forms they’ll already have some knowledge to apply and the learning will be that much easier. Sokka has been quiet, looking out over the sky with a blank expression, so as Aang cheerfully steers us down to the snow covered beach I sit next to him against the edge of the saddle. 

“You know, there are some pretty amazing warriors here I think you’ll like. I can see about putting in a good word for you with them, maybe?”

Sokka quirks a small, wry smile at me. “Thanks.”

I don’t know what else to say to comfort him, so I pat his shoulder bracingly and get ready to dismount.

Aang is already tearing off into the water almost before Appa has touched down, leaving a trail of red and yellow clothes down the beach. I suppress a smile as Katara laughs and runs after him, watching as he runs into the water and throws his arms out to the side, bending small sheets of water out of his way before he chest-flops in and begins swimming out to the koi.

“Guess you’re a good teacher,” Sokka remarks quietly as we climb down from the saddle at a more reasonable pace.

“Ah,” I mutter, waving away his compliment.

“So, who are these warriors you mentioned?”

“Well, they’re a school of young women--”

 _“Girls?”_ I raise an eyebrow at him and he sputters, a little shamefaced “Sorry.”

Suddenly I wonder what I look like, again. Do I look like a girl? I sneak a glance at my chest under the pretence of looking at the ground for a moment but no, like I thought, It’s fine. He doesn’t think I’m a girl, does he?

“Anyways,” I declare, “They’re a school of young women who are extremely talented with speed and redirection. Humiliating people to fight if you don’t know how.”

Sokka’s mouth twists to the side, and I can almost hear he’s biting back some unfavorable comments. Finally, he settles on, “Well, I guess they’d have to be good at redirection, since they can’t be that strong.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“Well-- They’re girls. Girls aren't as strong as guys.”

I’m sure the expression I make looks more froggy than it does disapproving, but it still gets the point across. “Be glad Avatar Kyoshi is dead, otherwise she’d beat you to a pulp for saying that.”

“Mh,” He mutters, looking away. “Sorry.”

He’s not sorry, I don’t think. But once he meets the ‘girls,’ he will be. I hope he’s able to swallow his pride, because if he can’t it’s going to be a very unpleasant ride to the North Pole.

“Aang!” Katara screams suddenly, and I whip my head around just in time to catch a glance of an enormous dorsal fin before it disappears below the water.

“Oh great,” I mutter as Sokka and I sprint to the water’s edge.

Yelling isn’t working; Aang is too far out and the crashing of the water is too loud. One elephant koi is yanked beneath the surface, then another. I cup my hands around my mouth, take a breath deep into my belly, and bellow with the force of airbending, “AANG!”

His head whips toward the beach, then behind him to the fin now pursuing his koi through the water. Faintly, I hear his scream as he blasts off of the koi’s back and begins sprinting across the surface of the water. In no time, Aang is zipping onto the beach and crash landing in the sand, and the giant fin turns and slips out of sight once more.

I sigh heavily, heart pounding as I turn to frown at the sand-covered young Avatar.

“Oops,” He mutters sheepishly, shrugging.

“What _was_ that thing?” Katara asks, rushing to help Aang stand out of his sand pit.

“I don’t know,” I say dryly, flicking my hand at Aang and neatly bending the sand off of his skin. “You didn’t mention a giant carnivore in these waters.”

“It wasn’t there last time,” Aang mutters, beginning to gather his clothes and put them on again.

“Right,” Sokka snarks. “A hundred years ago.”

Suddenly, I hear a rustle of fabric on wind; the warriors have come. Not waiting to see them, I launch myself into the sky on a flurry of dust, raising the temperature of the air below me for maximum lift. I watch as the warriors zip to and fro on the ground, swiftly apprehending Aang, Sokka, Katara, and the flying lemur Aang had picked up at the Air Temple. They all stop to look up at me when they’re done, posture tense, so as I drift back down to the ground I smile a little and wave. 

“Hello, ladies. Sorry to drop by unannounced.”

“Who are you?” Demands one of them.

“I’m Avatar Matahari. My companions are Avatar Aang of the Southern Air Temple, Katara and Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, and Momo the flying lemur. We also have a flying bison back there,” I say, jerking a thumb over my shoulder.

I can see the shock in their stances as I near ten feet off the ground.

“Two Avatars? How is that possible?” The same warrior asks.

“Bit of a long story,” I say, shrugging. “Do you have time to chat?”

She stares at me as I finally alight on the ground, and then raises out of her fighting stance. 

“Yes, but you’ll understand if we stay on our guard.”

“Of course,” I agree amiably.

She nods stiffly, gesturing for some of her warriors to flank me. “Alright. Come on.”

The warriors lead us up a wooded path to a small town, myself walking under guard and the others more or less being dragged. A man is waiting at the gate. He looks suspiciously at the lead warrior, who gestures back towards me.

“This one says they’re Avatars Matahari, Aang, and some Water Tribe kids. They want to talk.”

The man’s eyebrow shoot into his hairline. “ _Two_ Avatars? How is that possible?”

I suppress an eyeroll and smile at him instead. “It’s a long story, sir. I take it you’re in charge around here?”

“I am, yes. Suki here is the leader of Kyoshi’s warriors.”

“Wow,” I say pleasantly. “You must be very diligent, Suki, you’re quite young.”

“Mm,” She replies distrustingly.

“Well,” The man says, gesturing into the village. “Come in then, Avatars. Let’s talk.”

* * *

In the end, they allow us to take our tea unbound as we talk with the town’s leader, although Suki keeps us under guard. I explain the circumstances of my return to the mortal realm and that we had come to ask the latest news, and to check they were safe. After some small bending demonstrations from Aang and myself, the town leader relaxes and welcomes us openly. 

“I’m quite surprised!” He admits, as Kyoshi’s warriors stand down. “We never expected to see another Avatar, let alone two! Kyoshi has stayed out of the war thus far; our warriors are very proficient and have enough of a reputation that we’ve been mostly left alone. The mainland has had worse luck, I fear.”

“I’m glad you’re safe,” I say, absentmindedly bending the steam from my tea off to one side and out of my face. “What sort of trouble has the mainland been having?”

“Well,” He says, stroking his beard. “Most towns are occupied by now, or else burned to the ground. It’s only us isolated folk who’ve survived this far unscathed.” 

“Wait, even the big cities are occupied?” Aang asks, frowning worriedly.

“All except Ba Sing Se, yes. But I fear even that will fall within the year.”

Aang turns to me with big eyes. “Avatar, we need to go to Omashu next. Please, I had friends there.”

“All in good time,” I assure him gently, before turning back to the town’s leader. “Thank you for the information. Is there anything I can do to help improve Kyoshi’s defences?”

He shakes his head. “No, I think we’re alright. The mainland needs you more. As I said, we’ve been staying out of the war, but earth is earth. Our brothers and sisters are being murdered and invaded; please, if you can, liberate them, Avatar.”

“I shall do everything in my power,” I promise him. 

He nods solemnly. “Thank you. Now, why don’t you rest here before your long flight tomorrow? How are your supplies?”

* * *

I would have thought the kids would need more sleep than me. After all, they’ve been sleeping rough for several days now. But I still don’t know a lot about this form I have; apparently, I still need to eat and sleep-- in fact, I might need it more badly than if I had been human. Everything I do now is to either conserve or restore energy I expend while bending-- without a true physical form to anchor myself, I bleed energy like a sieve. As it is, I wake up past noon. 

Yesterday I had made a point to introduce Suki and Sokka. Since he’s not here now, I can only hope he’s training with Kyoshi’s warriors. Katara is practicing her bending with a bowl of water, but the set of her shoulders screams irritation. Aang and Momo are gone.

“Katara?” I call, sitting up.

She glances at me, and I’m pleased to note she doesn’t lose control of her bending when she looks away. “Oh! You’re awake, how are you feeling?”

“Fine, I guess,” I say, reaching up to find my twisted bun is loose and messy, but not undone. I quickly uncoil it and then begin twisting it back into place as I scoot to get out of bed. “I’m not sure yet how to gauge what this form is or isn’t feeling.”

“Hmm,” She says, letting the water pool into the bowl again. “It must be strange, being… _here,_ again.”

“Yeah,” I mutter, heading for the table. It’s a lot of sweets, which I’m not a huge fan of. I stick to the less-sugary baked goods and fresh fruit instead. “Where are Aang and Sokka?”

She shrugs, scowling. “Sokka went to see Suki, I think. _Aang_ is off _performing_ for his _fangirls.”_

I struggle not to laugh, covering my mouth with a knuckle to hide the smirk. “Performing?”

She sighs heavily, deflating from her angry posture. “He said he was going to go ride the Unagi again to show off for them.”

“He what?”

“Yeah,” She agrees, sounding downtrodden and worried.

I stand from the table, bundling some of the drier breads into my cloak and tying it into a little sack. “Let’s go make sure he’s still in one piece, then.”

Katara shoots to standing with so much force she actually catches a little air before landing on her feet again. “Yes, let’s.”

It’s a strange walk down to the water, I note as I munch on a bread roll. People are pointing and waving to me cheerfully. Katara only seems a little disturbed by it, but most of her focus is on reaching Aang.

Honestly, I’m not used to this much attention, positive or no. In my first life I had been a bit of a wallflower; few friends if any, never speaking much to anyone. I had always gotten along better with animals than with people. For some reason, other humans had always been distrustful of me. _Maybe because they could sense I was a lying coward,_ I think darkly to myself. 

A group of young girls comes up the path heading toward us, chattering amongst themselves. Katara frowns. 

“Those are Aang’s fangirls. Where is he?”

On of the girls pipes up, “Aangie’s still by the water. The Unagi never showed up.”

“That’s not foreboding at all,” I mutter, and Katara and I quicken our pace.

Aang is still in the water when we reach the beach, Unagi nowhere in sight, and I sigh quietly in relief and slow my pace as Katara approaches the water’s edge. 

“You came!” Aang yells excitedly.

“We were worried about you,” Katara calls back. “I’m sorry I acted like I didn’t care, Aang.”

“Me too,” Aang says. “I let it get to my head, you were right. I’m sorry.”

“Uh,” I say, looking at the shadow in the water behind Aang.

It happens too fast to say anything more. The Unagi raises out of the water, supporting Aang on a spiked loop of its body. Aang screams. Katara screams. The Unagi roars, blasting Aang with a jet of water, but he barely manages to slip out of the way, clinging to one of the Unagi’s fins. It roars in annoyance, thrashing it’s body and launching Aang high into the air. I watch his arms pinwheel as he falls towards the Unagi’s open maw.

 _“Fuck,”_ I snap, sprinting down the beach even as Katara darts back and forth along the water’s edge, hands on her head as she tries to think of how to help. I skid to a halt in the sand just as Aang manages to blast himself out of the Unagi’s mouth with a jet of wind and, flailing, manages to grab onto one of it’s whiskers instead.

“Ohh--” Katara gasps, covering her mouth with both hands as the Unagi whips it’s head to one side and then the other, swinging Aang through the air at speeds that would have ripped a non-airbender right off. As it is, he manages to hold on until it gives a particularly violent thrash of it’s head. 

We watch as Aang sails high into the air, and then plummets down, down, down. My hands flutter at my sides as I try to think of something to do, before shooting out towards the water below his falling body. With a great bubbling noise, the water begins to shiver and roil; I’m continuously phase changing deep water into steam. Hopefully the large amount of bubbles will disrupt the surface tension enough that his impact won’t be fatal, but I don’t know. The amount of water that shoots into the air when he lands still leaves me feeling cold. 

I use the sand below my feet to blast myself to running, firming the surface tension of the water to skate across it. Katara rushes forward too, wading into the water. The Unagi turns toward the floating form of the young Avatar.

I reach him first, but his weight and my own is too much for the water to support and I sink chest deep, looping my arms around him and trying to tilt his limp form so that his face stays out of the water. Adrenaline soars through my body; I can hear the rushing of water behind me as I kick off the bottom and swirl my legs through the water, generating a large bubble of steam beneath me.

“Run!” I scream to Katara before I’m blasted out of the water back towards the beach. 

Katara gasps and moves her arms like a jellyfish, out to the sides before jetting in front of her, and she shoots backwards through the water and tumbles onto the beach, rolling back over her shoulder and flopping onto her front just as I land hard next to her. If I had had a physical form I can imagine the shock might have shattered a bone or two; as it is, I feel the frisson of force travel up my entire form, and somehow Aang flops through my grasp and onto the sand.

“Fuck!” I yell, crouching to scoop him up as Katara scrambles over to help me. The Unagi roars behind us.

Water hits us like a solid wall, catapulting us across the beach. I feel myself curling my body down in front of Aang’s-- even knowing I could well land on my head, I need to take the impact for him. He’s not able to protect himself right now. I don’t know what we hit, but the force and the searing pain of landing on an uneven surface sends a shock through my system. I feel what should have been Aang impacting my midsection, but I can also feel him hit the rock behind me before we both bounce to the ground. We land in the snow with a crunch, and I try not to fall on top of Aang even as my hands somehow slip through the snow, no longer registering temperature.

I open my mouth to gasp for air, but I can’t feel my lungs and there doesn’t seem to be any air in me to have been knocked out by the impact. Katara, soaked but seemingly mostly unharmed by the ride, scrambles on hands and knees to pick up Aang, checking him over with shaking hands. I don’t need to touch him to see he’s not breathing either.

“Feel the flow,” I rasp, a shock travelling through my body as I notice that I’m speaking the way I had as a spirit, with no movement of air. It’s pure sound, but I can’t think about that right now. “There’s a flow in his lungs that shouldn’t be; turn him onto his chest and flow it out of him.”

She rolls him over, draping Aang across her knees and holding out a trembling hand above his back. I see the moment when she feels the water in his lungs; her hand steadies, and as she moves it smoothly towards his head a small stream of water dribbles out of his mouth. There’s a moment of silence before his body seizes, retching out another mouthful of water before he descends into a coughing fit. Katara gasps and helps him sit up, hugging him gently.

The sound of a ship’s horn distracts me from Aang’s revival.

I stumble to my feet as Katara’s head whips around, blue eyes wide in fear.

“Zuko,” She whispers.

I try to grab the tops of the rocks we had landed behind but my hands somehow slip off of them, so with a grimace of annoyance I jump up, hooking my elbows over the crest of the rocks to look down toward the beach. A small Fire Navy ship is docked there, lowering a ramp to the sand.

“Aang can’t fight him like this,” Katara whispers fearfully, holding onto Aang as if to prevent him from doing so even though the younger boy is too weak to seem to care about doing anything other than breathing.

“He doesn’t have to,” I tell her solidly, frowning as three rhino lizards walk down the ramp with armored Fire Nation astride them. “Look after him, I’ll be right back.”

She tries to say something to stop me, but I wiggle until my chest is past the crest of the rocks and allow gravity to pull me over, rolling into the path. I stand up a little unsteadily, brushing off my clothes before affecting a blithe smile and walking jauntily down to the beach.

“Hello!” I call, waving at them once I’m within earshot. 

The young man riding point isn’t wearing the grill of his helmet, and as I see the red scar across one of his eyes I’m hit by a tatter of memory-- the same boy, fighting Sokka in the South Pole. It’s Prince Zuko himself, and he looks down at me imperiously from his mount.

“I’m here for the Avatar,” He demands, voice cold. “Bring him to me and we’ll leave your island in peace.”

 _My_ Island? I can’t imagine that I’m dressed anything like an Earth Kingdom peasant-- I’m not wearing blue _or_ green. But, fine. Representative of Kyoshi it is.

“Why?” I ask, cocking my head to the side with innocent eyes.

“Why _what?”_ He snarls, scowling.

“Why do you want the Avatar? It’s just, he _is_ valuable. I’m not just gonna hand him over for no reason.”

He growls, leaning forward on the saddle, and I carefully bite the inside of my lip to keep from laughing at him. “Do you not understand what’s happening? I will burn your precious island until nothing’s left but a smoldering hunk of rock! Give me the Avatar!”

I sigh, rolling my eyes and flopping my hands petulantly by my sides. “But I don’t _want_ to. It’s not like you actually _will_ burn Kyoshi down.”

With a scream of rage, Zuko steps up and then jumps from his saddle, swinging his heel down in a swath of flame. As the heat nears my face, a sudden inspiration seizes me. Without conscious effort, the flame sucks towards me out of the air and I feel my heels dig into the sand of the beach-- gravity is affecting me again.

I flick on a clueless smile as Zuko lands, stumbling as the energy from his flame dissipates instantly. His face is a mask of shock-- to him, it probably just felt like his bending had been sucked into the ether for no visible reason.

“Wh--” He gasps, looking around frantically.

My smile broadens a little and I’m sure now it’s distinctly patronizing. “Hm?”

“What did you just do!” He cries. His soldiers shift nervously on their mounts, and I flick a glance at them before looking back to Zuko.

“I didn’t do anything,” I say, shrugging. I know I’m overplaying the innocence-- even if I hadn’t _done_ something, something still clearly happened. Zuko yells in frustration, flame pouring from both hands, and I screw up my mouth against laughter as I suck the energy from those too. The flames wink out of existence, and Zuko stares at me in open mouthed shock.

By now it’s probably extremely obvious that I’m dicking with him; I’m barely holding back laughter, shaking with it as I wait for him to do something else. But Zuko doesn’t seem to know what to do; the shock changes to deep wariness as his weight shifts back onto his heels-- he’s leaning away from me. That’s a little sobering, and my laughter falls off into a little smirk.

“Who _are_ you?” He asks, and his voice is drastically changed from before. It’s not cold or demanding or enraged; it’s quieter now. 

“I’m Matahari,” I offer reasonably. “Who’re you?”

He stares, and I realize he doesn’t want to tell me his name. Not just out of ordinary caution-- he’s not certain what I am. That’s fair, I guess. I’m not either. I shrug, looking away as I order my thoughts.

“Well, anyways. I’m not giving you the Avatar. I’d appreciate it if you left now.”

He still doesn’t respond, and I heave a sigh, glancing at him. “Please?”

“Are you a guardian?” He asks.

I pause. I guess I am-- not in the traditional sense of a guardian spirit, but literally-- it’s fairly apt. “Yeah,” I say plainly, shrugging one shoulder. “I’m looking after Avatar Aang. Are you going to leave, or…?”

He shakes his head quickly, stepping back. “I’ll go.” He flicks a hand at his soldiers, gesturing for them to get back on the ship. They glance at him hesitantly before slowly turning their mounts, glancing back at us nervously every now and then as they move back up the ramp.

We stare at each other for a moment. Zuko has the posture of someone who’s stumbled across a huge wild animal; his body is faced slightly away from me, as if he’s prepared to break into a sprint at any second. But for all the caution in his pose and the fear holding his face immobile, he doesn’t walk away. He’s curious. Interesting.

I hadn’t expected the Prince of the Fire Nation to be someone who would have respect for ancient spirits. From what I’d heard of Ozai, he didn’t seem like the type to care about spirits at all. But Zuko clearly does-- he’s treating me the way any child would treat suddenly meeting an ancient spirit, with caution and curiosity and respect. Honestly, it’s way more tolerable than it would have been if he’d been a cocky prick. I can probably work with this.

After a moment, he gives me a hesitant nod and backs up towards the ramp of his ship, never breaking eye contact and never stepping across himself-- instinctively keeping his stance open enough that I couldn’t easily knock him off balance. I let him go, watching him impassively. When he reaches the top of the ramp he signals for someone to raise it, and after a fleeting moment of hesitation he offers me a shallow bow before the ramp begins to lift. I return the bow, even more shallowly, and then the lip of the ramp raises enough to obscure him from my vision.

I watch them sail away in silence, hands clasped behind my back. 

“Are they gone?” I hear behind me, and I glance back to see Katara peeking over the tops of the rocks. I offer her a smile and jerk my head towards the beach, beckoning her to come out.

“Yep. All gone.”

Her head dips out of view and then I see her again, helping Aang climb over the rocks. He’s a lot shakier than he had been before; it probably hurt like hell to hit the water as hard as he did, and i’m sure he’ll be sore for days. He accepts Katara’s help seemingly without thought, and together they make their way back down to the sand where Katara begins collecting Aang’s clothes for him, sending me glances every now and then. I raise an eyebrow at her.

Once she sees that Aang is able to wobble into his clothes without help, Katara approaches me with eyes downcast.

“You really did it.”

I shrug, trying to catch her eyes. Why is she acting like this? “Said I would, didn’t I?”

She peeks up at me, then looks down again. “You-- I-I just--” She sighs in frustration, shaking her head. “You handled that without raising a finger. No one even got hurt.”

 _And they would have,_ I can sense her thinking, _if it had been Aang facing them._

“Well,” I say, shrugging and looking away. “I’ve had a lot of time to watch people diffuse conflict.” _A lot more time than Aang has._

She glances up at me sharply, and I know she understood me. “I guess,” She agrees.

I nod. “Anyways, we should head back. We need to tell everyone what happened. We can probably stay another day to let Aang recover a little, but then we really need to move on to Omashu. I don’t know how long it will take the Prince to come up with a plan.”

Her eyes lower before glancing back at Aang. She’s worried about him. Aang has finally managed to get all his clothes on, but he stands on the beach shivering a little. He must be freezing, I realize-- he used up all his energy on not dying. 

“Let’s go,” I say, waving up the path. The kids nod and begin the slow, painful hike back up to the town.


End file.
